Lifestyles of the poor and nameless

I was reading an old issue of PARADE magazine in the PhiladelphiaInquirer (May 15, 2005) when I came across this segment in the "AskMarilyn" column (it's like "Dear Abby")

"Few people would buy a car without a test drive. Many feel the same way about marriage: They wouldn't get married without having sex withthe intended person first, to determine if they are sexually compatibleand if they enjoy each other when making love. Do you think peopleshould try each other out in this way before marriage?"--- K. Cayle,Burke, VA.

Marilyn's response:

"Moral issues aside, if you want to test-drive your intended spouse,you're not in love with him or her. If you were, you would have onlydesire, not doubt. As anyone who has been in love knows, having sex isn't comparable to making love. And if you're not in love, you shouldn't get married."

Hmmm....I can hear the commentary already: *sucking teeth* well, love is great and all, but it won't excuse poor performance.

I guess it comes back to "do I love you because your sex is off da hook, or is your sex off da hook because I love you"? Seems like if your goal is category #2, then you don't need the "test drive", because no matter what, you'll be satisfied. Just my $.02.

I dedicate this recent factoid from page 21 of the Philadelphia Metro to all my friends in the diet struggle:

23- The average number of hot dogs eaten by every person in the United States between Memorial Day and Labor Day, according to the National Hot Dog and Sausage Council. (www.hot-dog.org)

If you believe this, then that is roughly 5 hot dogs/month for 4 months. Do you eat 5 hot dogs/month around this time? I usually eat 2 at once and feel bad for doing it. So I swear off hot dogs for the next 3 months or so (I meant hot dogs that I make in my house...this does not include hot dogs from BBQs or cookouts--- don't ask me to explain why BBQ hot dogs are exempt)

But I digress. I really meant to ask: what the heck is the "National Hot Dog and Sausage Council"? It sounds fake, doesn't it? I've never heard of it before. It also sounds like it might be a fun place to work. Hot Dogs usually evoke images of summer, BBQ and relaxation. You have to smile when you think of these things. That good feeling will probably carry into your workday, leading to a more pleasant work experience in general. Maybe. At least it sounds like more fun than the"Department of Corrections". (No offense to DOC workers)

Pardon my rambling. I just had lunch. The 'itis has set in. Or as the more p.c. would say, "food coma". Lights out kiddies.

I woke up late (again) and was racing through the house to get out. On my way out, I forgot the "other" bag, (yes, that bag that we must carry in addition to the handbag) and so I became even later.

I ran out of the house and tried to run down the street towards the train station, but running while leaning off to the side (to offset the bag) is not too efficient. In the end, I missed the train by about 1 minute. That was at 7:45am. The next train didn't come until 8:40am. Grrr!

...is an interesting little ditty by Gwen Stefani, but what exactly is a "hollaback girl"?

Anyway, this weekend I had a conversation with The Hunter...I had noticed that our communication had kinda fallen off over the past couple weeks and I figured we should just have "the talk" instead of just not speaking and then having him pop up a few months later.

The gist of the conversation was: He finds me attractive, but I'm not his type, and he met someone else. The punch line was that he long ago suspected I was not his type, but just wanted to take these past 4-5 months "to be sure". Ugh. This is not devastating news, but I would have still liked to beat him to the punch. That's what I get for trying to be objective and really giving him a chance. *Sigh* So what's his type anyway?

The Hunter says his type of woman is a "girly girl". Well, no surprise there, I've never been that. For me, practicality and comfort always wins out over fashion. Kinda like Sandra Bullock in Ms. Congeniality. In the contest of sneakers v. heels, sneakers will always win. At work I keep a pair of shoes under my desk in case I need to go to a meeting. The sneakers stay on the rest of the time. I work on the 7th floor. Sometimes I like to walk all the way up from 1. Or I'll take a break and walk for 30 minutes downtown. I'm not doing it with heels on because they slow me down. It's so much easier to run for the train when you're in a hurry (as I usually am in the morning) if you're wearing sneakers instead of shoes. I admire those gazelle-like women who can run for the bus in stilettos without breaking a sweat or falling on their faces.

In handbags v. bookbags, the bookbag rocks. Balancing your stuff on one shoulder just seems unnatural. After all, you have TWO shoulders, right? Then there's the issue of "the second bag". Seinfeld had an episode about it once. If you have a handbag, you always have that "other" bag. If you've got a bookbag, one bag fits all. But everyday I bite the bullet and ditch the bookbag.

Don't even get me started on makeup. My mom doesn't wear any and I have no clue about selecting shades and applying stuff. And I guess I've always been afraid that if I start wearing it, I'll have to keep on going with it because I won't feel comfortable without my "face". So I figure I'll walk around exposed. Hate it or love it, at least you know what you're getting. Did you guys see that photo of Tyra on ANTM last season when she wasn't wearing any makeup? Yikes.

Don't get me wrong...I can wear the hell out of a suit or some formal wear if need be. It's somewhere between sweat pants and suits that I get lost. If I have to go out, I'll dress to the occasion, but since I'm a hermit, there aren't many occasions. And I can't bring myself to do it "just because". So here I am, a study in minimalism and functionality. I'd wear sweats/jeans and a T-shirt everyday if I could. I thrive in winter because when it snows only extremists/eccentrics wear heels and we're all too busy trying to keep our lips from getting chafed by the wind to worry about the other person's makeup.

I'm not one of those girls who expects a guy to be decked out all the time either. If he has a cute face, a nice body and he's clean, I don't really care what he's wearing. I guess I just feel like: in the grand scheme of things, we can always buy/change clothes. But most of us can't afford to buy/change our physical traits. So if he looks good, his style is almost irrelevant.

Nonetheless, I went shopping this weekend with some of my mom's friends. I forced myself to buy things that I would not normally wear--- like capris and sheer shirts--- and colors that I wouldn't normally wear--- like lilac. The trick now, is to actually wear them and resist the urge to either return them or bury them in the back of the closet. For once I would have liked to be an Indian woman....just give me a sari and some sandals and call it a day.

So what kind of "girl" are you?

I was reading the newspaper this morning and I saw that Mary Kay Letourneau married her long-time lover Villi Falaau. Ms. L is 43 and Villi is 22. She served seven years in prison on statutory rape charges (or something like that) because she was engaged in sexual acts with Villi while she was his 6th grade teacher. He was 12 years old at the time. They have at least one child together.

I saw Ms. L. on a Barbara Walters interview last year or the year before. Barbara kept asking "You're a grown woman. His teacher. How could you get involved with a TWELVE year old boy?" To which Ms. L. tearily replied "I love him, and if I had to do it all over again, I would."

Now they're married. That's deep.

I usually don't talk to people at the gym. I go in with my headphones on and my water bottle at my lips *Don't talk to me 'cause I'm focused!* But because I live in a relatively small town, it's hard to maintain any kind of anonymity at popular places like the gym. If you have any kind of routine, you're going to run into the same people repeatedly....it's hard to ignore people in such familiar situations.

I've seen one guy there a couple times. He says hi, I say hi and get back to my business of laboring and sweating on the treadmill. Last week, he approached me and decided to strike up a conversation. We talked for a little bit and eventually, he asked me out and took my phone #. If I'd been in NYC, I don't think I would have gone for it, but hey...this is Bristol, PA. Anything goes. I gave him the # and watched him drive away. Then I realized that I hadn't taken his #. Oh well.

He called the following day to say "hello, how's your day going?" etc. I thought that was cool, but I didn't really have time to talk and he said he was getting off work so he'd call back another time. He called the next day, and somehow or another we got to the issue of age.

He said that he thought I was no more than 21. Hmmm....I guess it's good that I still look young at 25. Maybe. But heck, I never want to be appealing to a 16 year old! Because that's what he was, ladies and gentlemen...a tender young buck of 16 years old.

You're probably wondering how this could have happened. I'm still wondering myself. I have never met a 16 year old with a body like that. He honestly could have been 21 or 31...he didn't have an age to him. Then there were the circumstantial factors: I forgot that in PA you can get a driver's license at 16; not true in NYC. What the heck are they feeding these kids?!

From the old man to the underaged.....geez.

There's a saying that "God never takes away except to give us back something better. It means we must be brave enough and determined enough to wait...because it often takes God time to turn a painful situation to good. It means we can embrace our pain and not resent it because a blessing is coming!" --Ann Kiemel Anderson

I don't always remember this phrase when something bad happens. Last year, when I failed the bar, I was devastated. I tried to put on the strong face, but behind it all, I was hurt, disappointed, bitter, etc.

Out of my whole "crew" from school, I was the only one who failed. Yes, I had the flu and a fever on the day of the exam...but I still felt like that shouldn't have mattered. I just wanted to pass the first time like everyone else. :-/.

In hindsight, I look at how my life is different because I failed the first time. I wouldn't have taken my present job, gotten my own apartment and I definitely would have missed out on at least one good friend. The failure kept me grounded; it humbled me.

The NY Bar results were officially released today. I passed :-). I can't even begin to describe the euphoria that resulted from seeing my name on that list. As an unexpected bonus, I found out that I did well enough to waive into the D.C. Bar without having to sit for the exam all over again.

Now I just gotta get through NJ in July. But no matter what, I feel happy and blessed to have achieved this much. I thank God for His mercy, and my friends for their support.

The Bar results were released this week and Sunday is Fordham Law's graduation. Everyone's got something to celebrate. We're gonna party like it's 1999! :-)

I was on the phone with "Mr. Chips" discussing traumatizing situationsin life. He jokingly mentioned that he is traumatized on a regular basis because one of his co-workers (an older lady) comes to work without abra on "and there is no reason your nipples should be pointing to the ground. They should point forward."

So I told him that's not traumatizing, it's just a part of life. He still persisted, saying how it was disgusting and he didn't want to see it, etc. It was all I could do to restrain myself from saying "well, some people would say that there's no reason YOUR chest should be jiggling." Yes, he has boobs. Side effects of excess weight.

I can't say I find it particularly attractive, but in the grand scheme of things, he's still a nice guy, so I figured "eh...whatever. I'm no swimsuit model myself." But this exchange, among others, has led me to realize that he's one of those guys who is content to be a slob, but expects his woman to be in shape.

I had a similar situation about 4 years ago. The guy was pretty nice,but he was short and he had a rather large head, so he often got overlooked by women. In the end, his charming personality won me over.Imagine my surprise when he later told me "well, you're a nice girl, but I'm not attracted to you." Joke's on me huh?

I can't do that again. Sorry Metamorphosis. It's ova!

I've been sick for the past couple days, hence no blogging. But I'm back!

Unfortunately I have nothing to say...lol. See ya next time.

Maybe I'm more scandalous than I thought.....or just bored and seeking male attention. Maybe it was the "young boy" earring, or the uniform or the waves in his hair. Who knows? Whatever it was, it brought me to Mr. Conductor's train car yesterday.
He started in with "You know, you really remind me of my ex" and I asked him if that was a good thing or a bad thing. He said that it was definitely a good thing. He was in love with her, but she was in the military and went off to TX. Yada Yada yada.

So we talked for a good 20 minutes. He asked me questions about myself and I asked him a couple things. About 12 minutes into the conversation, he told me that he is 42 years old and has 2 kids... and they are in college. Well hey, whatever.

About 15 minutes into it, he tells me that he's married and "I want to be honest with you. I'm too old to be playing games. So I'm going to let you know right now that I am not going to leave my wife for you or anything. A man is going to be a man, you know?...so what's your policy on married men?"

Ewwww. The next 5 minutes were impossibly long. "A man is going to be a man"?! I'm so sick of hearing men use that to justify their cheating, womanizing or general lousy behavior. I'm tired of hearing women use it to justify the reason for them accepting this behavior from men.

The irony of it all is that I have yet to meet a man who raises his daughter to believe this tripe. No man I know of ever tells his daughter "well honey, men are going to be men and you should expect that no matter who you end up with, he's going to cheat on you." They wouldn't say it. In fact, the cheaters are usually the same ones telling their daughters' boyfriends: "if you ever hurt her, I'll kill you." Ugh.

People out there may disagree, but me personally, I wouldn't intentionally mess with a married man. If that's your thing, more power to you, but I don't want that kind of karma. Aside from that, I've gone through too much in life to just end up as somebody's side dish. I'm the main course AND the dessert dammit!

Nope. Not true, but do you remember that song? I don't know if there was another version, but I remember the early 90s reggae mix with Shabba Ranks and (I forgot the female singer's name). Great song.

I thought of this song because it reminds me of the train conductor that I see everyday on the 3:45 train. He always has a kind word and a smile for me when I get off the train. Yes, he's an attractive guy, but if the gray in his beard is any indication, he could be in his late 30s/early 40s (Maybe he just grayed early?). At first I thought he was just a nice, friendly conductor. Then I thought maybe he was flirting with me. Then one month I noticed his picture in the paper along with a citation for "outstanding service". So I figured he wasn't flirting....back to the nice guy theory.

One day I was waiting for the train to leave the station. The train was empty except for he and I. He said "you know, you look like my ex girlfriend....I know you probably noticed me looking at you sometimes and you might wonder why I look at you like that, but when I see you, I get all these memories coming back to me."

I didn't get to ask him whether that was a good thing or a bad thing. Maybe I will ask him tomorrow.

But I'm not trying to start any trouble. I notice one of the other conductors is always flirting with him. She usually smiles at everyone else when she's collecting tickets and gives me dirty looks when I'm getting off the train. Her nail polish looks like it was designed by Tony the Tiger (Frosted Flakes). Yes, it's orange with tiger stripes in black/white.

I'm not a particularly scandalous person, but you know....maybe one day I will flirt with him too and rain on her parade. Lol. But only if she keeps up with the dirty looks.

Yesterday I had not one, but 2 blasts from the past. I was on the train when an old friend from h.s. came into the train car and said hello.

I haven't seen her since 1998/1999 but I knew that she had moved to Philly some time ago, so the chances of running into her were quite high. We were very good friends in h.s., but over time we grew apart (I'll admit that was mostly my fault...although I called and emailed, I wasn't too good when it came to actually hanging out. I know it's shallow, but during college, I put on a significant amount of weight (more than the standard freshman 15) and I didn't want people who knew me from h.s.to see me).

By the end of law school, I'd lost the weight and had more free time,so I was ok with hanging out. But by then she was having a bit of a"problem" returning my phone calls. As in: I'd call, she'd say she's busy but would call me back and then she wouldn't. Because I'm an Aquarius and prone to being heartless at times, I just let it go. I made my efforts to call, I phoned again when I moved to her state (about 40 minutes away) and she did not reciprocate, so I let it go.

Yesterday, when we saw each other, she confronted me with "I tried to hang out with you but you were always too busy". I didn't appreciate that, because it was years ago, I've apologized, and I've since attempted to reconcile. What more could I do? So we parted ways, but I didn't feel happy when I left. I can't change what happened. I can only apologize and move forward. *Sigh*

Then I went to the gym and had a workout that Billy Blanks would be proud of. I got home and there was a message from an old college friend("C") saying that he had spoken to my former college roommate and best friend ("S").

S and I used to be best friends and roommates for most of college. We were like siamese twins for the better part of the early years. C lived in our hallway. One summer C,S and I lived together...it was like "3's company." :-). Things between S and I fell apart because of some stupid man drama: I showed her proof that her boyfriend was shady, she thoughtI was jealous and trying to break them up. Things weren't the same afterthat. During the 3rd year, I became really good friends with our other roommate, and S wasn't too happy about that. By graduation, S and I wereon a "hi and bye" basis.

Fastforward to 2005. I haven't spoken to S since 9/11. She went to medical school and I never heard from her again. C got married and started his own business so we don't really talk that much anymore.The other roommate got married and things between us aren't bad, but for some reason, we're just not tight like we were back in the day. :-/. Allof a sudden, I find that I'm very good friends with the roommate's best friend.

In our last year of school, one of my friends introduced me to a girl that lived in her hallway ("M"). M was a transfer student and a sweet girl but dear God, she was soooo annoying. She sounded like Fran Drescher ("the nanny") and she was a nice person, but it was just too much for me. I graduated and didn't really make any attempts to keep in touch with her. She was always calling and checking up on me or tryingto get me to go out...like we were in a relationship or something! Icouldn't figure out how to politely tell her that she was too clingy,soI just faded away. She became friends with my best friend. But she hates me now. She thinks I'm mean because I never kept in touch with her.:-/.If I were on fire I don't think she'd spit on me to put me out. *Sigh*

I sat down and really thought about the pattern of friendships that I've had over the years. It seems like I'm some kind of leech moving amongst people's friends. Today I'm friends with you; tomorrow I'm friends with your friend. But that's not my plan at all.

I know people who have been friends with each other since 1st grade.Their friendships have endured over time and distance and through marriage/sickness, and all life's curve balls. Yet I have this problem just maintaining frm one stage of life to the next. Is it that I pick the wrong people? Am I non-commital? A loner masquerading as a socialite? I know that people come and go in life, but geez.

Since the Hunter missed our Thursday rendez-vous, we rescheduled forSunday. I told him that maybe Sunday wasn't a good day since it's Mother's day and all. It was OK for me because I was sending my parents out to a play, but I thought he might want to spend the time with his mom. He assured me that it was fine because he would spend the morning with his mom and then come see me around 4pm before he went to work at9.

So I'm on the train leaving NYC and I give him a call to let him know that I should get in around 4:15. That's when he says "oh, we decided to do a mother's day dinner for my mom, so I'm not going to be able to see you today." Ugh.

I couldn't just go back to my place and do nothing. So I called this other guy I was talking to--- Mr. Chips. I call him that because he eats alot of junk food. I think he's a nice guy, and he's always treated me well, but after a particularly intense conversation about spirituality and things of that nature, I felt like maybe we weren't compatible forthe long term. I knew he liked me, but I couldn't figure out a way to tell him what was on my mind, so I just distanced myself while I thought things over.

We kinda made small talk for a while and then he asked "so what do youthink of me?...because I was thinking maybe we could take things to the next level, but I've been sensing a 'disconnect' for the past couple weeks." So we had our talk and I told him what was going on in my head.Then he told me that after our intense conversation a few weeks back, hes poke to one of his friends who agreed with everything I said. That prompted him to re-examine his views. Now he feels like "well, I've been doing it my way all this time and that hasn't worked, so maybe I should try it your way and see what happens." Interesting.

I invited him over and we went walking for about an hour and a half.Then he left and he went to find junk food. Lol. I still haven't gotten to talk to him about the whole eating/fitness issue. Fitness is important to me. I'm not saying that I'm in the greatest shape, but I'm definitely working on it. I think it's cool to be able to work out with your significant other, and motivate each other towards your fitness goals. In another lifetime I was a small whale, and I'm not trying to go back there.

I've been trying to stage these little competitions with him, to challenge him to work out harder, or in the alternative, set things upso we can exercise together. Sunday was good because he actually suggested the walk. But working out one time doesn't entitle you to overdose on junk. Beyond the cosmetics, I'm concerned that he will have severe physical problems later on in life, and will die early if he continues on this present track.

I guess another one of those conversations is in order. In the meantime, welcome back Mr. Chips.

The building I work in has 7 floors. I work on the 7th floor. Sometimes I try to take the stairs, but because I'm not in the greatest shape(yet), it takes me a while to make it to the top....if I make it at all.Most times I can make it to 5 and then I have to take a break and walk across the 5th floor before I can get back to the stairs.

Inevitably, when I get on the elevator in the morning, someone will get on and go to the 2nd or 3rd floor. 3rd floor, I don't mind, but SECOND?!No they're not handicapped, wearing heels, or otherwise impaired. Yes, it's only two flights of stairs. In fact, people will RUN to catch the elevator to the 2nd floor. Weird!

I've been talking to someone off and on for the past couple months. I call him The Hunter (sometimes he goes hunting.....first Black dude I ever met that goes hunting. Interesting.) I think I started talking to him because I was bored/lonely/curious and he's an attractive guy...so why not? He would like to have a girlfriend, and I, after my four years (eek) of non-committed life, and numerous worthless dating experiences, would like to have a boyfriend. Seems simple enough. I think that since I've been out of a committed relationship for so long, I'm trying to sabotage things.

The hunter is a nice guy. He is a "let's say grace before we eat, even if we are at a restaurant" kind of guy. To me, that is priceless. Despite this, I still find myself en guarde for potential problems....anything that will prove "see, he's a jerk and I should leave before I really like him." When I say anything, I mean anything.

Today's faux pas was that he was supposed to meet me at my house at 4pm so that we could go bike-riding. At 4:05 he called to say that the turnpike was backed up and he couldn't make it. Yes, I was disappointed that I couldn't see him. But I was a little mad because I felt like he should have called earlier if he knew he wasn't going to make it. I left work early just to be there on time. Dammit.

In the grand scheme of things, it's not that big of a deal....except that he was late the last time, and I felt like maybe this is the beginning of a pattern of bad things. Usually when guys start off being late/forgetting phone calls, etc., they end up being complete pigs. You make excuses for them or dismiss these little things as "no big deal" but a couple months later, you end up cursing them out for some really big insensitive thing they do. Then you curse yourself out for ignoring all the "signs" in the beginning, and wasting all that time. *Breathe*

I know I know....you shouldn't let other people's stupidity affect the present situation. Fear is a bitch ain't it?! All those dates in the past.....in the back of my mind I knew they had no relationship potential...they were just good for storytelling with the friends (You know, the "girl, can you believe! this triflin' mofo" stories) . Maybe I went along with them because they were disposable--- I can't get attached to dummies, therefore I can't get hurt. And who wants to be hurt?

So I acted nonchalant when the hunter said he couldn't make it. "Oh well. Guess we'll catch up some other time. Have a good one." Slightly fuming, meanwhile. And about 40 minutes later, he called back to say that he felt really bad about not making it today and "are you mad?", "can I see you this weekend? I'll leave my house early this time."

Because I'm a sucker and not too good with the games that women are supposed to play, I said "we'll see. I'll call you." because I really didn't know if I'll be around on Sunday. But I was smiling the whole time.

My music player died while I was in the middle of cardio! That was the end of the work out :-(. I didn't have any extra batteries.....I must have music during cardio!

Does anyone have any recommendations for good workout music? I like to listen to things with fast beats/angry guitars, "stick to it" lyrics, and/or songs by women who are in great shape. I find that the last category helps me visualize myself in better shape.

For exmple: as I'm clinging to the stairmaster for dear life, in the last minutes of the workout, where energy is low and the intensity is high, I usually opt for "Survivor" by Destiny's Child or "All Night (Don't Stop)" but Janet Jackson.

Other songs in my workout compilation are:

Basket Case, Blvd. of Broken Dreams and When I come around- Green Day
Behind those hazel eyes, Since you've been gone- Kelly Clarkson
Let's Get it Started- Black Eyed Peas
U don't have to call, pop ya collar, Yeah- Usher
Through the wire- Kanye West
Gotta Get through this-Daniel Beddingfield
One Mic- Nas
One Thing- Amerie
Me Against the music- Britney Spears & Madonna
Quimbara- Celia Cruz

I watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind with Jim Carrey last night. Hmm...that sounds weird, but you know what I mean. The movie itself was kinda strange. Not Adam Sandler- "Punch Drunk Love"- strange, but strange nonetheless.

For those who aren't familiar with the flick, Jim Carrey plays a nerdy stick in the mud guy who falls in love with a real "live each day as if it was your last" type of woman. They have an interesting relationship and then break up. On a whim, she has a procedure that erases her memories of him. When he finds out what she's done, he tries to get the same procedure. Then he decides he wants to keep some memories after all.

I'd give it about 3 stars out of 5... maybe 3 and a half for the actual movie. But the concept definitely got me thinking.

What if it were that simple to erase a person from your life? Would you do it?

While I was watching, I thought "yeah, there's a couple people I'd like to erase". On second thought, I changed my mind. After all, for better or worse, we are the sum of our experiences. Even though some experiences may have been unpleasant and the people were just plain poo poo, they all happened for a reason. So I guess I'll stick with whatI've got (not like I had a choice anyway)

Today's program is brought to you by NETFLIX. Netflix offers movie rentals by mail. You can take out up to 8 movies at a time, and keep them for as long as you like. You pay a monthly fee according to the number of movies you would like to have out at one time.
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My "Testimonial":I am a movie monger! I signed up on Friday and got my 3 movies (Lemony Snicket, Ocean's 11 and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind) by mail on Saturday. My local video store charges $2.50/rental and requires that you return new releases the next day, everything else by the second day.Blah. I think I'll stick with Netflix!

By the way, Lemony Snicket is a good movie. I would watch just for Jude Law's acccent while he narrates, but there is this one scene where Jim Carrey pretends to be a veteran sailor with a wooden peg-leg. Hilarious!

A recent email subject line said "Usher admits he's bisexual". I opened the email and attached was a sound file of a radio station's commentary on Usher's "coming out". According to the announcer, Usher posted a letter on his website stating that he was "coming out". The announcer speculated that someone might have been about to blackmail Usher, so Usher decided to get the jump on them. The sound segment was about 3 minutes long.

For some reason, this sounded fishy to me, so I did a quick Google search. Pretty soon I came up with a website which stated that the whole thing was an April Fool's Day "hoax". I wouldn't call this a HOAX. I'd call it SLANDER and a possible lawsuit.

Recalling my best friend's April Fool's Day "hoax" in which he claimed to have been diagnosed with cancer, I have to wonder how society became so desensitized that we must stoop to these levels of insensitivity for a "joke".

I wonder if the announcer would have been amused if someone made statements about HIS sexuality and broadcast them on the airwaves.

I don't know the origins of April Fool's Day, but when I learned about it in elementary school, the jokes were simple: put a buzzer in your hand and shock someone when you shake hands with them; put a fake animal on your friend's desk; "hey look over there!....ha ha, made you look"

I understand that as we mature, our sense of humor becomes more sophisticated....but why should that sophistication give way to insensitivity?

As far as I see, nothing good comes from it. Well, unless you're Ashton Kutcher and you can make millions by creating a show like Punk'd. If we spent as much energy doing positive things as we do on making retarded April Fool's Day jokes, I think something really big could happen.

If that radio host had used the 3 minutes of air time plus the planning time to send out a positive message...;

if my friend had spent the hour and a half involved in his ridiculouscancer "prank" to read to his little nephew...;

if Star & Bucwild would just shut up in the morning....lol. Or maybeuse some of their morning airtime to uplift and encourage peopleinstead of talking all that destructive, "hateration" garbage...

who knows what could happen.

So that's my $.02: Next April Fool's Day, do something constructive and positive for the people around you.

After much internal debate and encouragement from Metamorphosis, I decided to get my hair twisted. I've seen a bunch of people with the twists and they look really nice. I'm pretty conservative when it comes to hair, and change in general, so this was a radical move for me. Especially since I have to keep the style for at least a month.

So I got it done. It took about 3 hours (not bad at all). When I left, I was quite pleased with the results, even though my scalp was in pain from having my hair pulled so tight. My hair had bounce and flow and I was happy.

I get home and show my mom my new coif. Her first words: "it makes your face look fat". Gee, thanks mom. I became irreparably paranoid after that. After ogling myself in the mirror, I am convinced that my face does indeed look fat with this hairstyle. My relatively big forehead is not flattered by this style either. My final analysis: it's definitely a cute style, but not cute on me. You know when you're walking down the street and you see a person wearing a cute outfit that is so tight it looks painful? You think to yourself: Hmm..cute outfit, wrong person. That's how I feel in this hairstyle.

But, at least I broke out of my conservative nature long enough to try something different, and I'm proud of that.

I've always wanted to put some highlights in my hair, but I never know what color to pick because my hair is jet black. Maybe when I take these twists out, I will attempt the color. Hmmmm.

Happy 1st of May to all. Today I am trying to figure out what to get my mom for mother's day.

The card and flowers seem so cliche. The problem with getting a really great gift for mom's day is that dad's gift will always pale in comparison and you can't just go back to the card/flowers routine once you've done something really different.

Since my brothers are content to provide monetary support without creative input, it's up to me to pick the gift.

We almost always get my dad "just a card" for Father's Day. My dad isn't much of a socializer, a plasma TV is beyond our budget, he doesn't really wear ties, and I think he's got every tool known to man, so there's not much we could get him. I think last year we took him tothe movies....and gave him a card.

This year I wanted to do something that both my parents could enjoy. I thought of getting them a couples' massage in NYC. Deep tissue massages with hot stones. Hey, I think I want that for myself. In any case, after checking out a bunch of places, $200/person for an hour and a half is alot of money. I scrapped that idea.

I wanted to do something that would get them out of the house. I know that if my mom stayed home, she'd just complain about the fact that my brothers are slobs and didn't clean, and then she'd say "I'm not cooking today, I'm on strike", and completely undermine the lunch that I would have compelled my brothers to cook in honor of Mum's Day.

In the end, I found reasonably priced tickets to a Broadway play called "On Golden Pond", starring James Earl Jones. It is showing on Mum's Day @ 3pm. I know my mom will like it, because she's into theater, and even though there's no action, I think dad will like it because he likes J.E. Jones.