Lifestyles of the poor and nameless

They've been working me to the bone. I've been getting home late everyday and haven't had time to blog for a while. >:-(. And Rick has been keeping me occupied ;-).

But.....the good news is....


I got the job!

I've never been so happy for a paycut in my life. Lol. I was going to quit anyway and just go home and scavenge for a job. But...now I have something waiting for me. I can finally take my vacation!

Well, I gave my notice on the apartment and all is well. They're actually going to let me leave without problems! So I have to be out by October 15th. Next hurdle: giving notice at the job. That probably won't go so easily. I am debating whether to give more than 2 weeks notice. My last day will be Oct. 14th. Oct. 10th is a holiday and then my boss starts her vacation on the 13th. She's going to flip her wig when I give notice because there's so much new work coming into our department. But that's not my problem. I said I would stay until a specific project is completed. That project ends this Tuesday, so I should be clear to go.

And did I tell you that the powers that be got wind of my possible resignation and offered me a transfer to another department?! Those punks. Same position, new boss. The transfer would take about a month and a half before it's effective. I just can't wait anymore. Plus it's not doing anything for my career. I'd be better off going back to NYC and doing volunteer legal work than taking that transfer position....at least I'd be getting some real attorney experience.

It's kinda scary going back without another job lined up....but at the same time, it's soooo liberating. I can't wait to have some time off!

I would like to give a shoutout to my best friend M who can always keep a smile on my face. Today was a particularly rough day. You know those days where you start to second-guess yourself about anything and everything? I told M about it and even though he can't sing his way out of a paper bag, he still sang "You are so beautiful to me" by Joe Cocker. Awww. Thanks M! :-D.

Monday I had my 2nd interview for an attorney position in NYC. I can't say that I'm too enamored by the place, but I'd rather be there than "here", especially since there offers a formal training program.

I was supposed to interview with 3 people. 2 of them showed up. One was a woman, whom I instantly connected with. The other was an older man who seemed like a complete cynic. He would ask questions about something on my resume and then act skeptical of any answer I gave....like he thought I was making it up. 30 minutes into the interview, the phone rings and The Woman answers. She comes back and starts talking. 5 minutes later, the phone rings again and she anwers. It's the 3rd person, the head legal counsel. He was stuck in a meeting but he's on his way over.

He shows up with nothing to offer except his cool hair and funky tie. No notepad or copy of my resume. The others offer to lend him one of their copies. I hand him an extra that I came with. He glances at it. He asks a question about the issue in the moot court competition 3 years ago. *Dammit* Not that I didn't know, but the answer wasn't as crisp as it should have been.

Mr. Cool Hair starts asking about the time line of my resume. He's confused about why I graduated in May, didn't start working until October, left that job in November to start working in NJ, and my bar admission is "still pending". He decided not to ask whether I took the Bar last July. I decided not to volunteer that I took it and failed it. *I can't help that I got sick, OK?! But nobody wants to hear my sob story* He asked one or two more questions and then pushed the resume to the side.

He reached over to the reference books and started doing research. Alrighty then.... I guess it was over...at least for him anyway. I asked for business cards so that I could follow up. The Woman didn't have one but volunteered to get one from her office, as did Mr. Cool Hair. Mr. Cynical didn't have one and didn't bother to get up to find one.

He agreed to walk me out. He asked if I wanted a tour or if I had to get back to work. I told him that I had to get back to work. At that point, Mr. Cool Hair returned and flicked the business card at me across the table. How rude! If their actions are any indication of their attitudes towards hiring me, at best I have: one for (The Woman), one against (Mr. Cool Hair) and one borderline (Mr. Cynical).

I need this job because I need some kind of money (although it's a significant paycut from my present job and I'd have to live at home), it's good training, and it's a ticket out of here. But, Mr. Cool Hair's attitude is deplorable at best, and if I have to work with him, things could get ugly. There are no "people of color" on the legal staff (unless there's a Native American or Latino person that escaped my attention). *Sigh*

As my mom always says "the grass is greener on the other side of the cess pool". The new job could be just as shitty as here, but at least it's new shit. I probably won't even get the new gig, but ask me if I care. *Do you care?* Hell no, I don't care. Job or no job, I'm tired of the shenanigans that go on at work; tired of being made to feel incompetent when I ask for clarification on unclear assignments; tired of higher level management cowering away from my super because she's super-smart and has seniority; tired of the "we'll try to get you a transfer" rhetoric. I'm out! I've already given notice on my apartment (we'll see if they choose to accept it). October 14th they can kiss my ass goodbye :-).

I was unlocking my bike from the parking lot in front of the local Rite Aid last night when a car with 4 young white men slowly passed by. "Fucking Nigger" yelled one from the back seat on the passenger side. The car's occupants stared at me and rolled with laughter as the car sped off into the night.

This may be a common occurrence to some folks, but outside of TV/movies and rare stories from other people, I've been fortunate in that I've never had this experience. I've seen the confederate flags proudly displayed on some cars in the neighborhood. I've heard stories about racist white folks with guns in the western parts of PA. "If you ever decide to drive to Pittsburgh, make sure you fill up on gas here and don't stop till you get to Pittsburgh; especially at night, 'cause the Klan is thick in between" advised a friend. "Stop playing" I told him. "You think I'm kidding?! Try it and see what happens to you."

This is still 2005 right? There's racism in NYC, but my experience has only been with the corporate kind...like major law firms with 200 attorneys that literally only have 3 Black attorneys, or people assuming anybody Black in a corporate environment is part of the support staff. It's fucked up, but it's not this "run for your life, whitey's got a gun" type racism that is notorious in some parts of PA.

After the shock wore off, I thought of a million things I could have said or done. In the end I kept quiet, because name-calling won't change anything and they wouldn't have heard me over the squealing tires.

I remembered a time a few months back when I was riding my bike and a young Black female looked me in the eye and said "fucking bitch" as she passed. I never saw her a day in my life, did nothing to her...but she still wanted to talk shit.

In NYC, you don't do stuff like that unless you're ready to throw down, because you never know who has a gun or some weapon or will just beat the crap out of you. I wish she would try that mess on Flatbush Ave or at those projects off Newkirk. I thought about throwing down the bike and asking her what the fuck her problem was. But I decided not to. I've never been one to start scrapping over petty name-calling, and I didn't think age 25, with my character and fitness application pending in NY, was the time to "defend my honor" to some 18 year old with Coprolalia-Tourette's Syndrome. I breathed and kept pedaling.

Damn these small towns and the small minds that inhabit them. The first amendment is alive and well in these parts.

Former first lady Barbara Bush was quoted as saying "so many of the people in the arena here, you know, were underprivileged anyway, so this is working very well for them," in a radio interview with the American Public Media program "Marketplace". The White House is now trying to distance itself from Ms. Bush's "personal observation" that "poor people in a relocation center in Houston are faring better than before Hurricane Katrina struck."

Ms. Bush seems to ignore the fact that these people did not ASK to be plagued by the storm; nor did they welcome the opportunity to have their belongings ruined by flooding and their loved ones maimed or killed as a result of the storm. Would she prefer that the displaced victims refuse aid and camp out on the White House lawn instead? Ugh.

In related news, I learned that the gov't is set to give out $2,000 debit cards to adult victims of Hurricane Katrina. "The unprecedented cash card program initially will benefit stranded people who have been moved to major rescue centers such as the Houston Astrodome" according to the Associated Press.

$2,000 may seem like alot, but it's really nothing when you consider the fact that some of these folks only have the clothes on their backs. They have to use that $2,000 to find food, clothing and shelter for an undetermined amount of time. I only hope that recipients use the money wisely, so that we don't see a real-life re-enactment of Dave Chappelle's "Reparations" skit.

As I sat at my desk, thoroughly hating my job and the fact that I have to be at work late today of all days (a Friday before the start of a 3-day weekend), a message popped up about the Hurricane Katrina disaster relief program by the local Red Cross. That quickly put things in perspective: no matter how late I stay today, at least there's a house waiting for me when work is done.

Watching the news for the past few days I've had a conflict of emotions. The anguish and despair is apparent on the faces of people whose worldly possessions can now fit in a garbage bag. My heart truly goes out to them. Then I hear these reports of my people raping others in the Astrodome, or looting electronics and other non-necessary items and it pisses me off. It makes me want to take off my belt and go beat some sense into them because if the reports are true, then we are only proving ourselves to be uncivilized, as has often been said.

When the tsunami hit last year, the afflicted were described as devastated and grief-stricken, but not looting and pillaging. The pictures showed them helping each other through the crisis, not laying on the ground spread-eagle after cops foiled their attempt to steal a postal truck. If store owners in Indonesia camped out with guns to prevent looters from taking over their stores, it sure didn't make any newspaper that I read. Many people say that it's because the N.O. afflicted are poor and lack resources...since when is that an excuse to behave like a savage? Last time I checked, the tsunami victims were mostly poor people as well.

I will be the first to admit that I have NEVER in life been through any kind of disaster like what's going on out there. I don't even know anyone who's lived through anything like it...aside from the few family friends who escaped the 2004 and 2005 storms in my parents' home country of Grenada.

But with that said, I really can't understand the violence that results from all this. Everyone complained that N.O. didn't get enough assistance....and when the government finally sends people out there, instead of the personnel being focused on feeding and transporting the people, now they have to worry about looters, rapists and angry mobs.

On the other hand, this could all be the result of biased journalism. As reported in this NYTimes article, storms are perfect breeding grounds for prejudice. After an 1889 flood in PA, Hungarians (the 19th century social outcasts) were accused of cutting off dead women's fingers to steal their wedding rings. The newspaper headline read "Drunken Hungarians, Dancing, Singing, Cursing, Fighting Amid the Ruins".

And now begins the blame game. According to a pre-9/11 Fed'l Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) report, the 3 most likely catastrophic disasters facing the U.S. were: 1- a terrorist attack on NY; 2- a major earthquake in San Francisco and 3-a hurricane strike on New Orleans. We've already seen 2 of 3, and weren't prepared for either; are we following the "3rd time's a charm" rule here?

I read this morning that aid for N.O. is coming from Jamaica, Dominican Republic, Columbia, Venezuela and Honduras among other places. Isn't it ironic that these poor countries who are struggling for themselves, still found a way to reach out to the U.S. before our own government did?

As my parents used to say: "all who can't hear must feel". And the U.S. government WILL feel when the waters recede. Don't be surprised if there's a class action suit against the government because of their inaction and apathy before and during this crisis. Just as the families of 9/11 victims made their claims, so too shall the people of N.O...and what a hefty bill it will be.

But rather than continue to run my mouth about the ills of the system, I'm going to take advantage of the 3 day weekend to go help out the relief efforts at the local Red Cross. I hope you will too. Godspeed.