Lifestyles of the poor and nameless

So, I didn't get selected for jury duty on Friday. How wack is that? I guess Murphy's law was in full effect. I don't know too many folks who are dying to serve on the jury, but I'd rather be in jury duty than at work. Unfortunately, because I actually wanted to do it, they decided to release me without even questioning me.

The snow is piling up quite nicely outside. Yet, my boss is so excited about work that she's thinking "hey...maybe it will just be a delayed opening". See, this is the mess I was talking about during the last snow storm. WHY are people so eager to get to work? There's no prize for being at work when there's 10 inches of snow on the ground. Keep your butt in the house and be glad that you're still getting paid even though you're not doing anything! I think I might just call in sick.

What is the deal with hairdressers? Why do they always want to cut your hair? I've been going to my current hairdresser for about 4 years now. I'm all about supporting Black business, but you know....WHY must they cut my hair? I finally get it growing, able to toss it over my shoulder ;-) (not quite) and then the hairdresser says "you've got all these split ends and stringy hair. When's the last time you had a trim?" Of course, I haven't had a trim in months, but that's because I was growing it out. I'm quite proud to say that I haven't seen a single split end thank you very much, but in her "professional opinion", my hair was damaged and needed trimming. So I acquiesced. Why? I don't know.

After the cut and subsequent dry, she says "yes, this hair feels good! No ends weighing it down". Sure it's got bounce and body now, but who needs body when you've got length? Not to mention the fact that I've got this pudgy round face now (because while I've been studying, I haven't been working out). So I look ridiculous with the short hair.

I figured that I might as well keep the ball rolling by getting my eyebrows done. So I went to my usual person (who is wildly overpriced, but good) and she made them too thin! She said that whoever did them the last time didn't do them properly, so she made them thinner. It's terrible. I'm almost like the Mona Lisa (no eyebrows). Now I have to wait and grow them out again. *Sigh*

*Sigh* And there went the bar.....

I felt relatively confident after the essays, but after the first 100 multiple choice questions, I felt like I had been robbed. Why build up my confidence with those essays and then rob me and leave me for dead by giving those multiple choice questions? What do you do when you know the applicable law, but can't find it amidst the answer choices?!

Just like that, it slipped away....*Sigh*

How you doin?! I'm back. Today was part one of the Bar exam. It wasn't too shabby, but that's all I'll say for fear of jinxing myself. Love, Props and Thank you to everyone who prayed, lit candles or thought about me as I was going through this. Round 2 is tomorrow. Keep the candles burning.

On a quick side note: I was studying at the library last week and let me just tell you how I had to FLEE the library on Thursday because there were just too many stink people in the library. When I say stink, I mean STINK; homeless funky, like their clothes could stand on their own.

I was sitting at a table and there was this FUNKDAFIED man in there. You couldn't really smell him when he was sitting down, but when he stood up...WOOO, I nearly passed out. And then he had the nerve to be looking for a book in a shelf right next to my table and walking back and forth...back and forth. I was trying to take a practice test with my jacket over my nose. Not a good look. He sat down, but I was still smelling him. Nobody else seemed to be affected. After a while, I began to wonder if I wasn't the one stinking up the place. Lol. He kept reading all these books...spreading the funk.

Then there was another guy who had an open sore on his head (I'm not making this up). And he had a strange habit of brushing his hand over each page. Maybe OCD? Who knows. He was funky too. Eventually I left and came home. It makes me wonder about getting books from the library. Ever see those mysterious things on the page when you get a book? Dust, crumbs or....?

That's right kids...the bar is just around the corner, so I'm taking off! There's plenty to say, but not enough time to say it. In the meantime, I leave you the archives, and an entertaining site called http://ihatemyflatmate.blogspot.com. I'll be back the week of the 28th :-)

I would like to dedicate "You Are Not Alone" by the scandal-mired King of Pop, to everyone who is alone on V-Day. Initially, I was going to use "Alone again....naturally" by Gilbert O'Sullivan. It's a beautiful melody and pretty catchy as light music goes. But when I checked the lyrics, it was such a dark song :-O. It starts off with the singer contemplating suicide because his lady stood him up at the altar. I mean geez. Here at Mindless Rant, it's just not that kind of party.
"You Are Not Alone" says it all. And you know what?! I hereby declare (not that it matters) February 15 to be "Single's Appreciation Day"/ "Liberated Lady Day". So all you candle-light dinner-eating, chocolate-candy-buying, Valentine's Day card-giving, hand-holding, kissy-face couples....have your fun today and then take your monkey asses on. Lol. Tomorrow is our day!

February 15 is for singles only. Single fellas, go out and have a good time with your boys. Or stay home, watch TV and play video games 'till your thumbs fall off, and be glad that there's no nagging woman around to stop ya. Ladies, pamper yourselves. Get your manicure, pedicure and hair DID. Get dressed to the 9s and have a good time. Be glad that there's no non-calling, drama-bringing, unappreciative man in your life, and go 'head wit ya!

Why is gas SO expensive?! Usually, gas at my local station costs $1.89. It was like that for weeks. When I first moved to PA, I was kinda skeptical of going there. It looked pretty shabby, the sign was never lit up, and "Diane" told me that she buys her gas on the main street where gas was $2.10/gallon at the time. But, because I was cheap (or economical as I prefer to say), I figured Diane was just being bougie, and I'd go to the nearby bootleg gas station; I'd just pray that they weren't putting cooking oil in the tank.

I kept going there for the next couple weeks and it was always $1.89. The car didn't shut down on me, so I continued to go back. Then I went away one weekend and when I came back, the station had a brand new neon sign....and the price was $1.94. I figured it must be a temporary thing, so I'd wait it out. When I got back from work that afternoon it was $1.99! I decided not to wait anymore. Good thing, because in the space of 2 days, it went up to $2.02. It seems to have leveled off at $2.04, but since the U.S. government is graciously giving out free fuel to the good people of Iraq, I'm sure that U.S. citizens will be seeing an increase in gas prices in the near future. They don't call it CRUDE oil for nothing (hardy har har).

Even though NY just got into it a few years ago, it's difficult for me to remember going to a restaurant and having to sit near a patron who was smoking. I think that at least there was a smoking and non-smoking section before smoking was totally eliminated.

Unfortunately, NJ and PA are not as progressive on the smoking issue, so smoking is everywhere. I went to a diner and THREE people at a table about 6 feet away were chain smoking. I had a similar experience at a local food court up the block. Absolutely disgusting. I especially despise the smoking around office buildings. MUST smokers stand immediately in front of or near the exits so that I have to pass through a cloud of smoke to get in or out of a building? At the back entrance to my job, there's a little alcove for them to smoke in. I think there should be one everywhere. Go on...smoke yourselves into oblivion and leave me out of it.
I was ecstatic when the head honcho at work sent the following email:

Simply put, the smokers in this Department will not have a place to smoke in the courtyard if they do not assume responsibility for their litter. It is dispiriting to everyone to walk to work through a gauntlet of discarded cigarette butts, many ornamenting sign holders and other fixtures surrounding the designated smoking area as if to trumpet disdain for the building we share. It would be appalling in any professional setting, but it is especially so in an agency charged with protecting the environment and cultivating an ethic of stewardship. A department, I should note, whose recent rules specifically highlight street litter as a component of polluted runoff from stormwater.

Enough's enough.

This week's throwback goes to "back in the day fashion".
I was in the supermarket looking at DVDs and I came across the movie "Flashdance". I think I might have seen it at some point, but I don't remember. The movie jacket featured a dancer wearing high heels, a leotard and an oversized sweatshirt that hung off one shoulder. You know, the ones with the neck hole so big that your shoulders peek out. She had a sweatband in her hair. Did you ever have a sweatshirt like that? Did you ever wear big ugly leg-warmers with your heels? Those leg warmers used to crack me up...just wear pants! Or get a long coat if you must, but why the leg warmers?

The '90s brought us a new horrendous fashion: clothing in colors for the color blind. I will admit, grudgingly, that I had Cross Colours clothing---and I fought my mom tooth and nail to get it. Yes, I owned a pair of lime green Levi's and I thought I was stylin' (don't tell anyone). I also had a bright purple pair of shorts, as well as some electric blue jeans. I happened to watch a scene from "Juice" last week and I could have died when I saw the stocky guy wearing a black and white striped turtle neck with some kind of red plaid jumper. Eeek. Please remind me why that ever looked good.

I see that the over-sized sweaters have made something like a comeback...at least they did at Old Navy and H&M last season. I hope that the crazy colors never come back. Maybe I'm weird, but I would like to see some '50s clothing come back. Hey, we've done everything else. Might be nice to see young men in cardigans and button down sweaters. I think I could do without the poodle skirts, saddle shoes and "bobby socks" though.

This week's throwback goes to "back in the day fashion".

I was in the supermarket looking at DVDs and I came across the movie "Flashdance". I think I might have seen it at some point, but I don't remember. The movie jacket featured a dancer wearing high heels, a leotard and an oversized sweatshirt that hung off one shoulder. You know, the ones with the neck hole so big that your shoulders peek out. She had a sweatband in her hair. Did you ever have a sweatshirt like that? Did you ever wear big ugly leg-warmers with your heels? Those leg warmers used to crack me up...just wear pants! Or get a long coat if you must, but why the leg warmers?

The '90s brought us a new horrendous fashion: clothing in colors for the color blind. I will admit, grudgingly, that I had Cross Colours clothing---and I fought my mom tooth and nail to get it. Yes, I owned a pair of lime green Levi's and I thought I was stylin' (don't tell anyone). I also had a bright purple pair of shorts, as well as some electric blue jeans. I happened to watch a scene from "Juice" last week and I could have died when I saw the stocky guy wearing a black and white striped turtle neck with some kind of red plaid jumper. Eeek. Please remind me why that ever looked good.

I see that the over-sized sweaters have made something like a comeback...at least they did at Old Navy and H&M last season. I hope that the crazy colors never come back. Maybe I'm weird, but I would like to see some '50s clothing come back. Hey, we've done everything else. Might be nice to see young men in cardigans and button down sweaters. I think I could do without the poodle skirts, saddle shoes and "bobby socks" though.

I have a friend who has a problem. She is an intelligent, attractive, self-sufficient, 28-year-old female who can't seem to function without a boyfriend. Because of this affliction, she settles for some pretty unsavory characters. Neither I, nor other friends know how to get her to understand that she needs to get rid of these creeps.

I will admit, I've fallen victim to my share of idiots. It is a difficult thing to move on when you are confused, emotionally attached, and holding onto the fact that "he wasn't always like this, so it's just a phase". He can play all the games he wants: not calling when he says he will, standing me up every now and then, and generally acting retarded; but as time passes, I'm less tolerant of the games. When my last nerve is shot, I will curse him out and keep stepping. Nobody's gonna verbally abuse me and get away with it. *Hmph*

Yet this friend hasn't gotten the memo. She hangs on and endures blatant verbal abuse. I am concerned that eventually the verbal abuse will lead to physical abuse. If a guy says "get out of here, I don't f-----g want to talk to you" and slams the door in your face, I think you have 2 options: ring the bell until he opens the door, then curse him out and run away OR wait until he contacts you (which he will eventually) and THEN curse him out and run away. Trying to play the meek role never works, so you might as well just accept the fact that you need to tell him about himself. Do it and get it over with. But you DO NOT stand on the doorstep for 15 minutes and then give him the opportunity to open the door and say "I thought I told you to get the f!@# out of here!"

It doesn't matter that you guys had good times in the past. Statements like "get the f%!@ out of here" show that he really doesn't care. Good Times was just a TV show anyway...it can't be an excuse to put up with crap.

This brings to mind a scene from the movie "Basic Instinct":

Sharon Stone: Can I call you Nicky? Your ex-wife used to call you that, didn't she?
Michael Douglas: (silence) what did Manny [her deceased husband] used to call you?
Sharon Stone: Bitch, mostly.

I thought it was pretty funny (for a movie), but sad (because it's reality for some people). I don't want my friend to end up like that.

I never thought I'd say it, but I miss the anonymity of NYC. I miss getting on the train and nobody knows who you are. NYC transit riders will step on you, look at you as though YOU did something wrong and then suck their teeth and keep it moving. Perfect for the anti-social.

When I get on the "Rail" in PA, it's like when Norm used to walk into the bar on "Cheers"--- ok, maybe not that extreme, but still...same faces, same time, same conductor, Monday-Friday. And you really can't get around them. There's this one older guy who takes the 7:13 train every morning. He gets there very early and then stands around watching people at the station. And, since I come in at roughly the same time everyday and try to park in the same spot, he has taken notice of the fact that my license plates say "New York". So every morning---no matter how I try to avoid him--- he makes it a point to make eye contact and say something about the fact that I've "brought the cold NY wind" with me. Monday he asked if I watched the super bowl, and who was I rooting for. Ugh. In NYC, we notice these things, but don't make comments unless there's an absolute need for it. We don't stare at people and try to make eye contact--- that could start a fight. We mind our business and get lost amidst the throngs of passengers. I miss that.

Getting off the train is another small soap opera. That same guy gets off the train at the stop before I do, and has a parting word before he gets out. Geez. (On a side note, isn't it amazing that people who SHOULD be acknowledging you when they see you....like your boss, for instance...ignore you; but then you'll have some random guy on the train trying to talk to you all the time?!) Anyway...Trenton is the last stop on the PA rail line. The seats in the rail cars face forward and each car has one exit. There's about 8 minutes between Trenton and the previous stop. Inevitably, about 4 minutes into it, the same asian guy will come all the way from the back of the car and park himself in front the exit. Then the blonde lady in the front row will stand behind him. So I'll stand up 'cause I don't want to get stuck behind everyone else. But if I move too slowly, this black guy from the middle of the car will walk down the aisle and stand right beside my row until the train stops. Then he'll have a conversation with the blonde lady about how cold it is outside.

I get tired of seeing their faces everyday...and even more tired of that guy who always has something to say to me. As Billy Joel said "I'm in a New York State of mind". I've started taking the train at 6:30 instead, just because I need a change of scenery.

No really....it IS my birthday :-D. It is also the Grenadian Independence day. Al my Caribbean people: *Lighters in the air* So what am I doing to celebrate? A whole lotta nothing.

I am 25 today--- a quarter of a century. I am blessed to have made it this far in relatively good health. It's amazing to think that 25 years ago on this day I was just a little brown blob with a tuft of hair on top. I couldn't do much more than drink, sleep, poop and cry. My biggest source of anguish was the fact that I could not roll over or sit up on my own.

Today, I'm a big brown blob with hair down to my shoulders. I write laws for water quality; I've graduated from law school; I drive a car; I hang out with friends. Oh yes...and I still drink, sleep, poop and cry...although not necessarily in that order. My biggest source of anguish...woo, where do I begin?!

I wonder where I will be at the next quarter-century mark. Will I still be alive? Will I be single (ergo in a convent)? What impact (if any) will I have made on society? Is there anything that I will regret not doing over these next 25 years? My friends who are older than me always tell me that I'm so young...."still a baby". So why do I feel like time is slipping away and I'm not doing enough? Not LIVING enough?

*Cue the violins and sappy music*

Be that as it may....today is still my birthday. So while I ponder these questions, please send your gifts and donations to "Professional Panhandler" c/o blogger.com. ;-) Just Kidding. I would like to use my birthday wish (I still get one, right?) to wish that something good happens to everyone today. :-).

Finally, I've put an end to the Robert drama. Yippee! He didn't call @ 8:30 on Thursday, nor did he call the next day. So around 9:15pm on Friday, I decided I was going to pull the plug once and for all. I called him and he didn't answer, so I left a message stating: "Hello Robert, this is R*. I'm not going to beat around the bush with you. I'm just going to ask you to do me a favor and please don't call me anymore. Best of luck with everything. Goodbye." Ha! Talk about empowerment?! A sista felt REAL good after that. After all...that was direct and unequivocal. He knew the game he was playing, and after that message, he should realize that I just wasn't interested in it.

So imagine my surprise when he called an hour later :-O. I was on the phone with a friend, so I decided not to answer. He called back again :-O. The 2nd time, he left a message. The message said: "Hi R*, this is Robert. I'm returning your phone call. I was just thinking that I would like to get out of the city this weekend, so maybe I can come out to your area---Pennsylvania is it?--- and we can get a bite to eat or catch a movie or whatever people do in PA for fun. I'll give you a call tomorrow."

Are you SERIOUS?! I'm thinking that he must have looked at his phone, saw the missed call and not listened to the message. And you know, if that was the case, I MIGHT have felt bad, except for the fact that his message did NOT apologize for not returning the phone call the night before. He started with "I'm returning your phone call"....like he was doing me a favor by calling. Dude, you owed me a call in the first place! And on top of that, he didn't say anything like "I'd like to spend some time with you". It was "I want to get out of the city for a while." What do I look like? A safehouse for refugees?!

Some people think he might have heard the message, but still called anyway, just to see if I was serious about what I said. *Hmph* What nerve!

My best friend (a guy) thinks that I should have "given him a chance", and I should have agreed to meet him for dinner or something, especially if he's willing to come out here. "Get the free dinner and a movie and then send him on his way if you really don't like him." But you know what? Screw that. The man can't even make a free phone call, and I'm supposed to believe that he's really going to come all the way out here? And start paying for things for me? He better take that mess on to the next chick, 'cause I ain't the one.

Unfortunately, super-producer "Damon" must not have gotten the memo, because he insists on calling even though I told him not to...and even though I don't answer his phone calls.

You know, there's got to be at least a few million men on the east coast. Heck, let's even say it's just 10,000 in my age range in the NYC/PA/NJ region. How is it that I can't find just ONE that's feeling me the same way I'm feeling him? Ugh.

You know, it's a new year, and I'm not getting any younger, so I must eliminate the loose ends (the people who pop up every so often). Robert, time's up.

I called him yesterday *gasp*. When he answered, he asked if he could call me back. I said yes, and started thinking "guess I won't be hearing from him for another month". SURPRISE! He actually called back about 5 minutes later. I told him that I'm using one of his moves: "reaching out", as he called it on Wednesday. He had a hearty laugh on that one. I told him that after Wednesday's conversation, I realized that I really don't know any more about him than I did on November 7...so what's the deal? He agreed, and seemed like he was getting ready to launch into a convo when his other office line rang. He said that he might as well get off the phone because he was still at work and things would get hectic, but he said "I get out at 8. Why don't I give you a call at 8:30?" Because I couldn't resist, I said: "oh, do you mean 8:30 tonight, or 8:30 like...sometime next month?" *chuckle*. Hey, this is the 3rd time he's done this "I'm gonna call you later tonight" routine...then I don't hear from him for a month or so, and when I do, he never mentions the fact that he's about a month overdue.

Needless to say, he did not call at 8:30. Not that I was sitting by the phone waiting....but I did notice the fact that he hadn't called. Well, things happen. Maybe he was sidetracked. A responsible person in that instance, would call ASAP, or at least within 2-3 days, and acknowledge the fact that they should have called previously. That's what I would do. That's what a person who respects another person's time would do. If, in the early stages, a person isn't doing things like that, you can usually predict the way any future dating/relationship with them is gonna turn out.

So he'll get his 2-3 days grace time. But after that, I'm not going to let him get away for a full month and then call out of the blue. And I'm not going to just ignore the inevitable monthly phone call...cause he'll just call again. I'll tell him that the game was interesting, but really....Robert, please erase my #.

I am happy to report that "Diane" is on vacation. She is away for a week and a half. When she gets back, I'll be making my own exit. Woo hoo!

I must say, that in the week or so since I posted "Survivor---Home Edition", life with Diane actually improved. I don't know if it's because she started going to church more, became excited about her upcoming vacation, or realized that I would soon be out of her house...but all of a sudden, she was laughing, joking around, generally in "pleasant" spirits, and yes---washing dishes! Hallelujah! Since I'm not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, I will just be glad that the situation improved so that I can exit on a good note.

Because my dating life (or what there is of it) generally consists of inconsistent men who make random appearances....I should completely expect that some "loser/burnout/wannabe" will make an appearance each week.

This week we already had the $150 man. I thought that would be it, but SURPRISE! I got a call from Robert. *Gasp* For those who are new to our program/don't feel like digging through archives:

I met Robert randomly after the November 7th session of a monthly book club meeting (the next one's on Feb 27, be there!) in Manhattan. We exchanged #s and I didn't hear from him until Dec 27. I didn't have his #, and needed a refresher to remember who he was. I told him I was busy. I called him back on Dec 29 and he tried to make it seem like we had spoken between Nov 7 and Dec 27 (we didn't!). He asked when would be a good time to call and I told him (for the 3rd time, that after 8pm is always good).

Yesterday, this negro calls at 6:46pm (thought I said 8:00?!) and we have a rather benign convo about how working for other people is wack. Then he says he's just trying to "reach out" and I should give him a call when I come to NYC.

What part of the game is that?! Dude has had my # for 3 months and I STILL don't know any more about him than I did on Nov 7. Yeah, I had his # too, but I made my attempt with the call on Dec 29. Is he shy? Trying to be mysterious? Looking for a jumpoff? Between women and trying to keep me "on the team"? No matter what excuse you come up with, it sounds like "he's just not that into me". A person who was interested would have been making an effort to get to know me, or at least maintain more consistent contact. And that's fine. He doesn't have to be "into me". But why play the game? I'm too old to find "mysterious" men appealing. Let's leave suspense and mystery to Alfred Hitchcock and be adults about dating.

So why do I answer the phone when he calls? I guess I'm wondering if he will say something substantial for once. Maybe it's time to stop wondering and just say what I gotta say and be done with it.

I had to look up the plural of the word ratio, for a project at work. I believed it to be ratios, but a document I'm proofing kept using "ration". Since print versions of the dictionary are SOOOO last year ;-), I looked it up online at m-w.com.

While I was on the site, I noticed that today's "Word of the Day" is JINGOISM. Ah....there's a word I haven't heard in a long time. It is a noun which means "extreme chauvinism or nationalism marked especially by a belligerent foreign policy."

Hmmmm. I dare you to use that in a sentence today. Oh, and the plural of ratio IS "ratios".

*Yes, I know it's not Thursday yet....don't let the semantics stop you from reading the post*

Today's Throwback is dedicated to old school candy. I know I wasn't the only one chomping on Sour Powers, Now & Laters, Sour Patch Kids, Nerds, Tootie Frooties, Jolly Ranchers, Swedish Fish and---oh yes--- Pixie Sticks. And if you're a real candy connoisseur, then you must remember those candies that looked like mini soda-bottles made of wax.

Looking back at my level of candy consumption, it's a wonder that I am not diabetic. Even more astounding is the fact that I still have teeth. Do you remember those Pixie Sticks? Basically straws filled with colored sugar. Wow. And we used to go crazy for those.

I like to think that my candy consumption has gotten more sophisticated over the years. Although I don't eat "truffles", and I still enjoy "Mike & Ike's" from the local corner store, I find myself eating a lot more "old people candy": butterscotch disks, peppermint drops, cinnamon and ginger pieces and those hard strawberry candies that come in the red strawberry-like wrapper.

What ghetto candy are kids munching on the playground these days? Are they still dealing with candy? Or have they replaced candy with fattier foods?

Happy Groundhog's Day to you all. Now moving right along. I am hereby taking a stand against American Idol. Why? Because I don't have a TV and everytime I call one of my friends on Tuesday night, the first words out of their mouths are "Are you watching this?! This is too funny!" When I remind them that I don't have a TV, they give the dejected "oh" (meaning...."oh get off my phone then, 'cause I'm gonna watch this"). Therefore, in staying true to my non-conformist nature, I refuse to watch American Idol. So there :-p.

Has anyone heard the new R.Kelly song "Sex in the Kitchen"? I was listening to the radio on the way home from work and the song was making its debut on the airwaves. The D.J. asked people to call in and say what they thought about it. I did not hear a single negative comment.

Now, despite everything, I think that R. Kelly is a very talented singer/songwriter/composer. This new song has a very catchy tune. But I really think it's time for him to pull the plug on songs like "Sex in the Kitchen". For those who may not have heard it, here's a snippet of the chorus:
"Sex in the kitchen/over by the stove/put you on the counter by the butter rolls"
The gist of the song is about how sexy a woman can be while she's doing something as simple as preparing dinner. Applaud that man. He's right. Women don't have to be dressed to the 9s to be sexy. BUT, I don't appreciate his visual.

You see, my personal belief is that some things are better left to the imagination. There's no need to make a song about it. I guess if we live long enough, someone will make an entire album by bringing a microphone into the bedroom (or kitchen, as it were), put the sounds over a nice beat, and call it the new hotness.

If people want to get it on in the kitchen, the garage, or in an airplane...more power to them. But don't give us the play-by-play, and then put it to a soft, sensual beat. Next thing you know, I'll be simming (that's humming and singing) a song like "Sex in the Kitchen" at all kinds of inappropriate moments.

I distinctly remember feeling the same way about the song he did with B.I.G. back in the day called "I'm f-----g you tonight". I mean really.....MUST we be so crass?