Lifestyles of the poor and nameless

My parents went to see Brokeback Mountain last night. They were so
thoroughly traumatized by it that they went to see another movie (Munich)
immediately afterwards, just to erase the horror from their minds.

I asked them why they didn't like it and they said that there was
nothing to like, it was a horrible story. "That movie was saying it's OK for
gay men to sleep with each other and then go back to their wives" said
mom. "There was nothing good about it. Do you think it's a good thing
for a woman to know that her husband is off with another man?" said dad.
I can't understand why they were being so literal. We watch all kinds
of immoral crap on TV. All of a sudden, because the immorality involves
homosexuality, now, it's a problem and that kind of stuff shouldn't be
on TV. What about all the movies we watch involving adultery or
killing? They consider that to be just a story, but this---this is an
abomination. I think it's a reflection of reality, whether you agree with
homo$exua!ity or not. Because I wouldn't bash the movie with them, my mom
came to the conclusion "oh, well then you must be gay too and using this
movie to support your situation". When I told her she was being
ridiculous and EXTRA, as usual, she said "well...maybe you see no problem with being used as
the cover-up for a gay man like M. Everyone knows he's gay except you." Wow.

She must have been unmedicated. She always says stuff like this...does
she do it for shock value? First of all, she knows I'm dating Rick. M
is one of my best friends from college. I'll admit that I've had my
moments where I question his sexuality. But in the end, it really doesn't
matter to me. I'm not his girlfriend or his mother, so I don't care if
he's screwing men, women or goats. You know, Prince does his eyebrows
and wears frilly purple shirts and nobody says he's gay. Just a thought.
I digress. The point is...mom would rather that I'm not friends with M
because she's convinced that he's a user and a flaming homosexual. I
guess it doesn't help his case that he suggested Brokeback Mountain and
has a penchant for gay/lesbian films. Like I said...he's not my man, so
I really don't care.

***Movie details ahead***
There was a scene (don't read if you don't want to hear about the
movie) which goes like this: One of the guys, Jack, is married to a woman
whose family is rich. Jack's father-in-law hates him and thinks he's
worthless because he doesn't have any money. The father-in-law always did
things to make Jack feel like he was the lesser man. One Thanksgiving,
the whole family (in-laws included) goes to Jack's for dinner. The TV is
on and Jack's son is watching. He turns off the TV and tells his son
it's bad to watch TV and eat at the same time. Father-in-law gets up and
puts the TV back on and says "a man should watch football." Jack turns
it off. This happens a couple more times. Eventually, Jack turns off
the TV and curses out the in-law, telling him that it's his house and he
says the TV stays OFF during dinner. If the in-law doesn't like it, he
can get out.
***End of Movie details***

I thought that was a GREAT scene. It was comforting to see that parents
shouldn't always be able to run you over and tell you what to do.
Needless to say, my parents hated the scene. "That's just the kind of thing
you'd expect from rude children...so is that where you learn it from?
You think that's how you're going to be when you get your place?" said
dad. Mind you, the guy was about 30 years old when he stood up to the
father-in-law. And hell yeah that's how I'm going to be when I get my
place. You can run me over all you want in your house, but damn if you're
going to come where I pay bills and still try to tell me what to do. If
that's how they want to be, then they can STAY HOME. When I was growing
up, the word was always "if you don't like the rules we have under this
roof, then you can leave." Then logically, when you have your own roof,
you should have your own rules, and if they don't like it, THEY can
leave. Hmph.

On December 29th, after more than 25 years with the Department, Dr.
Ching Volpp passed away.  Dr. Volpp had most recently worked in DEP's
Water Monitoring and Standards' Bureau of Water Quality Standards and
Assessment.  She had quietly retired from State service on November 1st.
During her time with the Department, Dr. Volpp had worked in a number
of programs.  She helped with the establishment of the NJPDES program
and for many years was responsible for developing human health criteria
for use in the Surface Water Quality Standards, the Ground Water Quality
Standards, and the Site Remediation  program.  She will be remembered by
her friends and colleagues as an extremely dedicated and conscientious
individual in her professional work.  She was a very kind  person with
an unassuming nature who always looked for a way to help others. Ching
was very caring about her colleagues and their families, sharing in our
celebrations and sorrows.  She will be greatly missed by all who knew
her.  *Mary Wallace*, Water Monitoring and Standards Program
(777-0245),  is accepting contributions to a charity of Ching's family's
choice, in her memory.