Lifestyles of the poor and nameless

What do you do with people who come into your life "every so often"?

Once upon a time, I had a friend named "Hoops". I call him "Hoops" because of the small hoop earring that he used to wear. We were kinda talking on the relationship level for a brief minute, but for our own independent reasons, we never crossed the line. Despite that, Hoops and I were really close at one point. I think we used to spend a minimum of 2 hours on the phone everyday, often talking into the early hours of the morning. Crazy, right? But that's just the kind of connection we had.

Sometime last year, Hoops got involved in a fraternity and started spending almost all of his time doing "frat" things. Well, he pledged, crossed and then practically disappeared. I wish I could say that I just let him go quietly, but because he had become such a good friend, I kept trying to get him back. It felt like a breakup in a way....but we were never even dating. I was slightly bitter about it because I don't let that many people get that close to me...but he did and then he ran away.

Eventually, I stopped calling him. I erased his numbers (even though I had memorized them already) and blocked his emails. If he wanted contact, then he'd have to initiate it...and not just some cheesy email forward either.

Well, the last time I spoke to him was 5 months ago (when I broke my own rule and called him). Oddly enough, he called today. I fought the urge to be sarcastic. It's not that I still cared.....it's just my natural reaction when people I'm close to want to treat friendship like a revolving door. I let him talk, gave my minimal responses and then prepared to get off the phone. He kept the small talk going though. He must have sensed that I wasn't feeling this convo. Next thing you know, he's asking about if he can call later and suggesting that I should feel free to call him. I laughed and told him to have a good day.

I've noticed that when a man decides he's done with a friendship/relationship, it's a wrap. There's nothing the woman can do/say to make him reconsider. When a woman decides she's done, it's like "yeah, sure." Why can't loose ends just remain tied?!