Lifestyles of the poor and nameless

It's been a while since we've played Survivor here at Mindless Rant. I think we are overdue for a round. For the newbies: Survivor here is the same as the TV show, except I "vote off" people from my life on the basis of the stuff they do...and there's no prize for winning. (Check the archives for more info).

Today we eliminte my upstairs neighbor "Elizabeth". There's no such thing as "too nice"...but if there were, she would be the posterchild. From the first day I moved in, she was the epitome of good neighboring. Elizabeth lives with her 3 children (I think the oldest is 10 years old). They are always baking goodies and offering me various cookies and cakes. When it's not baking, they're cooking or BBQing. I would never starve. I always tell her that she really doesn't have to do these things (and I mean it), but she insists...so I just take the slabs of cake/brownies, etc and put them in my fridge.

Elizabeth....such a sweetheart, but I never know what to do around her. Have you ever met someone who is always apologetic? I mean sincerely apologizing for things that aren't even offensive. Eg: I'm outside when the mailman delivers the mail, so I'll take hers in and hand it to her if she's in the hallway. She'll immediately say "thanks" and then "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to bother you." I'm not kidding. I'm thinking: "huh? What is she apologizing for?" and then she'll say "OK, I'm going upstairs. I'm so sorry." Hmmmm.

The most recent source of anxiety has been "the car". I got into an accident in March and lost my car. Since then, my sole mode of transportation has been my bicycle. Being a good neighbor, Elizabeth always volunteers to take me to the store or pick things up for me if I need them. Since I don't want to take advantage or develop dependency, I always politely decline. When it's 90 degrees out and my grocery bag is heavy as hell, I still decline. I appreciate her offer, but I just can't do it ya know?

About 2 months ago, Elizabeth went the extra mile and offered to let me use her car whenever I wanted. It's a nice gesture. Really, it is. And offering once would have sufficed, but weekly?! It's getting tedious. I don't know her like that, I'm not insured to drive her car, and she really needs that car. God forbid something should happen while I'm driving, she and her kids would be screwed. Plus, it's an older car, and while it hasn't been known to give trouble, with my luck, something would go wrong and I'd be stuck having to pay for it. NO THANK YOU.

I got tired of finding polite new ways to decline her offer to use her car. Then I decided to tell her "well, I'm really kinda traumatized by the whole driving experience, so I don't want to get behind the wheel." And it's true. I'll drive again someday, but there's no rush. So she upped the ante by offering to take me out and get me reacquainted with driving. "We can use my car. We'll go out in a lot somewhere and work on it until you are comfortable." Again, I decline.

But the kicker is...Liz is severely asthmatic. She has at least one major attack every week. Activities like cutting the grass have been known to trigger these attacks. Well, I've never cut grass with a mower a day in my life, but I feel it's the least I can do. Unfortunately, I don't know how to operate the mower. I tried, but it's an older model and I can't turn the darn thing on because there are no instructions on it...there's some kind of lock that I can't figure out. The one thing I've asked her to do, is show me how to turn it on. She never does. She'll cut the grass while I'm out and then tell me she had an asthma attack and almost had to go to the hospital. *Sigh* I will have to ambush her if I want to learn.

Most recently, I've developed a cold with a nasty cough to accompany it (sounds like a pack/day cigarette smoke kinda cough). Liz, always eager to help, offered me her asthma medicine. "The doctor gave me this amazing stuff...it'll clear that cough right up." I bet that's not all it would clear up. It would probably take my lung out as well. Sharing prescription medicine?! Not cool. At age 37, she should know better.

Maybe I've become a b!tch as I've gotten older...or I'm "too NY" to fully appreciate her. Either way, she's creeping me out. Crazy how the people you want to be nice to you....never are, but then there's other people like Liz who will bend over backwards for you...and you wish they wouldn't.