Lifestyles of the poor and nameless

I made a few resolutions on January 1st. Since one-third of the year isnow behind us, I thought I'd measure my progress.

1. Get in shape: well, as soon as I was finished with my bar exam and moved into my own place, I sought out the gym. I wasn't too excited by it, but at least it was something. However, because I no longer have a car, the bus is unpredictable, and there is too much highway area around me, I have to cancel my membership at the gym. There is another gym within walking distance from my house. Their equipment is way more modern, but the facility is tiny. It's like if I decided to make a public gym in my living room. They don't have any classes, but they are also cheaper than the other gym. I bought a bicycle recently (yes, I ride it. Stop laughing!) and since the weather is getting warmer, I guess I'll get plenty of exercise. I also have a VCR so I can do my Tae Bo at home. First I need to relinquish my latest addiction: sausage and egg (no cheese...like that will save me) on a croissant from Dunkin'Donuts. I feel that my pants are cutting off my circulation as I sithere, so I definitely need to get moving. Or learn to accept my "wobblybits" as Bridgette Jones would say.

2. Become more spiritual: I am sad to say that I think I've become lessspiritual as the year has progressed. I'm not exactly sure how or why that happened. It's not that I'm out there doing bad things or even that I've lost faith in God...I just feel like maybe God has "lost faith" in me. Don't know if that makes sense, but there it is. I don't yet know how to fix it. I am attending a Bible study group that meets at work on a weekly basis. I think I need a daily group. Maybe an hourly group.

3. Become more social: The beginning of social life is confidence in your look. If you don't look good, you won't feel good and you won't want to go out. This is my current situation. I need to find a hairdresser, because running back to NYC to get my hair done is a NO. Usually that comes through word of mouth....except for the fact that I haven't really come across any women of color at work whose hair I admire enough to inquire about. Some of them are downright scary....and I'm not trying to trek deep into NJ for a hairdresser, because if that's the case, I might as well just go back to NYC to the people I know. Then there's the fact that I need to buy some clothes for the new weather, but can't afford to (thanks to a whopping $300 deduction named "pension" and "new employee back pension owed" that I will have for the next 6 paychecks). What happened to the clothes I had before? Well, since I was a hermit, and/or working every summer, I have clothes to go to work during the summer. That's about it. Argh. I miss my car.

4. Get rid of stupid men: Well, I think I managed to eliminate the patently stupid. After taking notes on "he's just not that into you", I felt empowered. I got rid of the stupid ones and the ones who just were not that into me. Now I have these 3 that I don't think I'm that "into". For a while, I wasn't really sure what was missing. They all seem like nice guys, but for some reason we're just not "connecting". There's always this undertone of "I'm happy to just get by". I don't like to tell them about what I'm doing or planning, because it seems like I'm trying to show off...which I'm not. But they don't really inspire me to want more. Isn't it bad when you can't accept a person asthey are? I know I'm not perfect. Maybe I'm too picky. And then there's the cultural thing.
These guys are all American. My Caribbean brothas are such a headache, but I love them. Unfortunately, they have their own issues. I will refrain from my diatribe about Haitian and Jamaican dudes. Trinis, I love y'all the best, but y'all can be some sneaky mofos. I need to meet a guy from a place people don't hear too much about like Antigua or St. Vincent or something. My parents' country is Grenada, and unless there's a natural disaster or U.S. invasion, you don't hear about them either.

5. Pass the bar by 2005 or find a new hustle: this one I have no control over. Still awaiting results of the last exam. I am planning to take the NJ bar in July. Win or lose, I don't want to waste any more of my life or money on these exams.

6. Develop at least one business plan before the end of the year: the business plan for my magazine is underway, and my book is progressing nicely. I would like to send out the research surveys for my book within the next month. Anything to get me out of the rat race.All in all, I think I have quite a bit of work to do if I plan to meet these resolutions.*Sigh* I'll check in again in August.