I've been MIA for a couple days. It's been pretty hectic. Here's the first installment:
Sunday was a beautiful day. The weather was mild and I had just gotten my hair done the day before (what a difference a day makes). I met some friends in the city at an Indian restaurant on W.55th Street (I love naan!). We parted ways around 5pm, and even though it was dark, I just didn't want to go home. So I decided to walk downtown and take in the city scenery. When I got to about 44th street and 7th Ave, I noticed a guy walking in the uptown direction. As he passed by, he smiled and said hello. I responded "hi" and kept walking. A few steps later, my brain kicked in and I thought "wait a minute....people don't just say hi in NYC, and he had a really nice smile. That hasn't happened since last year, and last year you didn't say anything to the guy. So you've been wondering 'what if?' since then. Go back! Don't let this one get away!"
I turned around with the intention of trying to catch up with this guy and I noticed that he had also stopped and turned around. So we walked back towards each other and proceeded to have an awkward 10 minute dialogue. Well...awkward for me because I was a stuttering idiot. I kept staring at him. He was about 6'3, deep chocolate complexion and only one earring. Then there was that smile :-D. To top it all off, he is an upwardly mobile professional. Like I said...I was a stuttering idiot. When does that ever happen though? Usually in the street I get old men or really young ones, "hey ma, can I holla at you?", or a really attractive guy who is clearly looking to "shag". I can handle those because I'm used to them. This was totally different. He never asked about my age or relationship status, and he actually tried to have a meaningful conversation. Despite my ineptitude, he still asked to exchange numbers. Then came the "send off": Let's keep in touch. Good luck with everything.
That sounds like something you hear at the end of a networking meeting or job information session where the employer knows you have no future with their company. They'll keep you "on file" if anything comes up and everyone else in the world is dead, but they're not really feeling you.
This situation spawned a series of debates with friends. Some swear that a female in this position absolutely has to follow the rules of engagement aka game and should not call the guy under any circumstances. Some others (myself included) hate game and think that if you start a relationship or dating situation by game, then you have to follow that forever. Those who favor game theory say that a female looks desperate if she makes any kind of move, and she risks scaring the guy away. I say: screw that. I didn't get to this point in life by waiting for things to happen so why start now? If he's one of those corny guys that's going to get intimidated by a woman who makes moves, then I need to get rid of him early. For those who think game is a good idea (and knew me at the time), one word: LaVar. Case closed.
Lifestyles of the poor and nameless
Wednesday, November 10, 2004 at 2:50 AM
To call or not to call...that is the question
The Coach's two cents:
So what happened when you called? :)
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